I’m not afraid to admit that I lost myself a little bit when I became a mother. I spent almost thirty years building myself into the woman I wanted to be. However, in a split second, I watched that woman fade into the background. On the day that she was born, my daughter flipped my world upside down. I am not the same person I was before I became a parent. It is a little depressing when I think about it, and at times, I am a bit envious of the wild, young woman that I use to be. The healthy physic, the perfect skin, the endless amounts of energy, and the adventurous outlook on life. When I look at the mirror, I see a different face. The image is a bit distorted, with the dark circles, and the uncombed hair. Yes, I miss her sometimes. Yet, I can’t help but love being a mom.
My life has changed dramatically, and my fierceness has been tamed by a bold little girl. I have met my match, and I am beyond grateful for that. I look down at my vibrant child, so full of life, and I think, “I get to be your Mom.”
I get to be the greatest female figure in her life. I get to be the one who helps guide her through her journey. I get to be the one who protects her, and the one who stands up for her. If being a Mom of a little girl doesn’t empower you as a woman, then what the hell does? I miss the woman I use to be, but nothing compares to the woman I have become. I owe all of that to my daughter.
My little girl has turned me into a stronger woman, and it is making me a better mom.
Yes, parenting is so hard. The minutes are long, and the days are too short. I long for some time to myself and being the main go to for my baby can be exhausting. I am still struggling to find my place as both a person and a parent, but I can’t help but be proud of who I am today. I truly am the best version of myself.
Do I love every moment? Absolutely not!
I could do without the late-night sleep battles, the screaming tantrums, the healthy food struggles, the diaper wars, and the mess. I could do without them, but it’s all a part of the bitter sweet package, isn’t it? My God, does it make you resilient. One day you’re overwhelmed and you’re struggling, and the next day you’re handling it! Being a mother has given me more courage than anything I have ever experienced. Even the darkest of days could not have prepared me for this. Parenthood is truly the greatest test of all time, and it is so fucking beautiful. How could I not love it?
Being a mother is scary and taking care of a child keeps you on your toes.
All my fears, before my baby arrived, have disappeared and seem irrelevant. Now, I am consumed by the fear that drives me to love, care, and protect my child. Ironically, I have found true strength in my fears because there is nothing I would not do to keep my child safe. Nothing scares me more than she does! Nothing!
I have never experienced a love like the love I have for my little baby. A connection that could never be explained in words. How much I wanted her! Everything we went through together, before she was born, and on the day that she was born. Everything we have experienced together this past year, and everything we are learning together a as new person and a new parent. How many emotions run through me as she grows. Pain in knowing that time is too short. Excitement in watching her blossom into a little individual. Fear in what is to come. Every single moment cherished, regardless of how tough or difficult. Through out all of that, I get to be the one who is right there with her.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It is not easy, and it is most definitely not glamourous.
It takes an awful lot of everything you can muster up, out of your soul. Patience when you don’t have any left, love when you are angry, and courage when you are scared. It can be draining, and exhausting. Frustrating and infuriating. Frightening as hell! It is the most important job you will ever have, and it could turn you into the person you’ve always wanted to be.
My daughter is beautiful, bold, and so very emotional. She pushes me past my limits every single day! I love her for that, and I love that I get to be that person for her. I do! I get to be the one she reaches for. It’s me she wants when she calls out for “Mama,” and I’m the one she looks for in a crowded room. I am! Yes, it’s true, it may not always be this way. That’s okay, because no matter what, I will always be that person for her when she needs me to be. I get to be her Mom, and that, to me, is the greatest thing I could ever be.
*Disclaimer – I am not a professional and will not be accountable. My blogs are written from my own experiences and should not be taken literal.
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